Thursday, December 01, 2005

we wish you a merry...politically correct season

hello readers.

i am alive. i have just been making $$$$$$ at vito's and therefore i have little time to update.

ok that is a lie.

i have been working alot but there is ALWAYS time for blogging...about vito's.

so we have this christmas medley. and vito is pretty much the WORST singer i have ever heard. but he thinks just the opposite - here is a sweet tangent, so EVERY night, he puts on this little tiny 5-year-old sized cap and sings "If I were a rich man." now, this would not be alarming if he himself were appropriately sized for said cap. he is not. we're talking 300-350 pounds here. complete with is-it-really-curly-or-just-a-perm? hair that is longish and slicked back into a ponytail. there is also evidence in this ponytail that he is in fact bald underneath, too. especially when it comes apart in places to reveal several centimeters of bare scalp. but enough about that....
the christmas medley.
so it is a...ok well medley of christmas songs (i know, duh) that has been put together by none other than vito himself, complete with piano transitions and all. this medley starts out with deck the halls, ends with we wish you a merry christmas, and has a few other christmas favorites in the middle. all very charming.
except for at the end today when during we wish you a merry christmas vito noticed that there was one, yes one black person in the restaurant, and took the microphone and screamed we wish you a happy KWANZAA, causing me to stop singing and completely laugh. it was just so inappropriate. and of course everyone immediately looked at the poor lady. luckily she looked a bit overwhelmed by the whole christmas medley and didn't seem to notice.

so there, i have posted again after not doing so for a looooong period of time.

happy neutral holiday season everyone.


Blogger Bug said...

haha oh my fuck a duck..... i can totally see you doing that. that's freakin hilarious.


1:10 AM  
Blogger mandamo said...

I kind of picture Vito like Pen, or Teller,whichever the big guy is.
Also, at work we have signs that say "Merry Winter!!!" Because, really, some people don't celebrate holidays at all, so sometimes it's enough just to make note of what season it is.
Third comment, I went to the Lindner Christmas party and none other than J Simpson performed. Most amazing experience of my life.

10:47 PM  
Blogger nora said...


i mean love

11:38 PM  
Blogger C.B. Po said...

Yes... I can see it all now. Beautifully done. Amanda! how could you get to the Linder party!!! I wanted to go so badly.

oh well.

if anyone is interested in how crazy this whole no christmas things has gotten, check out they are insane. when they have the form letters, I always rewrite.

good times

2:32 PM  
Blogger mandamo said...

I got to go to the Lindner party because I know a guy. Can't reveal my sources, though.
Incidentally, there was someone there who I kow you would have liked to have gone with. He brought a date, but something tells me it wasn't his girlfriend...

4:45 PM  
Blogger nora said...

who is lindner? i must be a loser aka barg.

3:16 PM  
Blogger C.B. Po said...


I know who you saw there. and frankly I don't care. In fact he and I had a "talk" and we're cool now. and hopefully I can grow from there and shit. Linder is the owner of Cincinnati.

5:57 PM  

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