Friday, July 29, 2005

big pimpin'

So i am at my new temp job, and this one seems to be the best one yet. i did have my doubts at first because i completely got lost while not paying attention to the directions (making me an awesome 20 minutes late) and when i called to tell them/ask for help, the lady was a total bitch. but now that i am sitting in the office COMPLETELY BY MYSELF i am perfectly ok with the situation and, in fact, don't really blame the lady for being such a bitch, although, she really should work on her phone skills. she was perfectly nice in person. anyway, i got here, to this little shitty building and was buzzed in by said lady and some guy and then was given the grand tour of about 5 rooms (of which includes a fridge that actually has a budweiser in it). everybody is gone today, and when i say everybody, i mean three people. i can't leave all day, which kind of blows, but there is CABLE TV, this unlimited access of internet (which i do NOT take for granted anymore , thank you pavestone), a private "ladies only" bathroom with keyed access (hahahahahahahahaha), dvd player, cd player, tape player, vcr, surround sound (ok i don't know about that one, but there are huge speakers), more pictures of children than i can handle, and lots of ceramic dogs and mugs and calenders with dogs on them. all that plus the beer in the fridge. damn gina. how did i get so lucky?

Friday, July 22, 2005

whip it good

so i just wasted a perfectly good can of whipped cream trying to do a whip-it...

remember when i said i was gonna practice tonight?

in other news, tomorrow, i will be attending the ye olde mormon wedding reception extravaganza, aka, my friend's sister's wedding party thing. it will be the first wedding reception that i have been to in a while without alcohol. i mean, come on, who does that? seriously.

oh yeah. mormons.

p.s. and baptists

Thursday, July 21, 2005

ok so i just cried at the end of one of my felicity episodes. before you automatically think me a gigantic pussy, let a bitch explain. she and ben are broken up right now because she cheated on him with noel and ben is mad at her and he is also upset because his dad is in the hospital and ... wait...ok
let's try a different approach.
the main reason for my tears is the fact that good ol' felicity wrote ben a letter in which she explains that she wants to be there for him and make him feel safe and protect him in the best way that she knows how. since andrew and i broke up, i feel like my life has somehow started. i have experienced more life in the last year than i did the entire time we were together. with all of that said, sometimes i still manage to wish that i was in a relationship again. NOT EVER a relationship like the one i had with him, maybe just one in which there is 100% more passion and understanding and with someone who is 75% more like me than he was. but then there is single me that is so happy coming home and sleeping alone every night, not having to worry about talking to someone on the phone every night, or even having to worry if a someone will call at all. the fact that i am in this place right now is very satisfying for me, but still...sometimes....

nothing left to lose

this is a highly confidential account of my morning, thus far:

-woke up at at 7:25 am, because i told myself it was ok to sleep that long (alarms had been going off since, oh, 6:15 or so)
-GOT IN THE MOTHAFUCKING SHOWA BITCH (yes, that's right, at like 7:27 folks)
-cut to me getting out at 7:40, giving me 20 minutes to get to this point, i am still dripping and bare-ass nekkid
-having nothing to wear, so i put on my *company logo tee, jc penny black jeans, and keds (which seemingly is the company uniform) and was good to go
-i left at 7:53 and immediately began to put my make-up on in the car while listening to my goth-death music=totally sweet (sidenote : nobody told me that putting make-up on in the car on I-275 would cause me to have to slam on my brakes so hard that i could actually hear them screech, creating another totally sweet moment)
-got to work at exactly 8:13 (what is with me and getting to work at 8:13?) and just like at pavestone, totally tried to pretend like it was such luck. apparently i was so late that someone had already taken the phone off of night and was holding the cordless hostage until i showed i had to sheepishly go retrieve it...damn
-now, at 9:18 i am currently singing r.kelly's "bump 'n grind". out loud. at my desk. while bumping. while grinding.

*company logo tees - i have much to say on this topic. mostly why? are they to make the lonely employee in the back, with the desk far, far away from everyone feel like they too are part of the "team"? or maybe so that when everyone is out to a hearty lunch of fried chicken salads covered in ranch dressing, they can look around them and say "god bless america, land of freedom, opportunity, and company logo tees." and then the gosh-darn waitress won't mess with them none neither cause they flippin work for blah blah inc, dammit! Men and women of america, (no, i will not capitalize that) stand tall and proud in your rolled-up sleeve logo tees, work boots, harley davidson brand tapered black jeans, and reflector fake rayban sunglasses. You ARE part of blah blah inc., and everybody should fucking know about it.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005


2 facts i want to share with you, even though i am currently enjoying a rousing episode of Felicity.

1. I-75 blows. hard. like we're talking harder than jenna jameson during a gang-bang.
2. Sprint wants people to cuss them out on the phone to their non-english speaking customer service representatives.

ok i lied...3. it simply is true that you go through the hard candy in the jar in your desk so much faster when you are a chewer of said candy and not a sucker like most, contributing to the consumption of probably 1,000 more calories in the course of just today.

if only dreams really could come true...

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

how i feel at 4:41 pm

if one more person calls for ron...and then subsequently calls back and asks me to page him, i have decided to turn into ron, and take the call for myself.



and the money kept rolling away from me

ok so someone just handed me a $609,042.58 check to fedex. excuse me for a second.


i have never seen a check that big. ever. the guy was like, "make sure that goes out today because it is a substantial amount." if i was needing to send $609,042.58-or let's just make it an even $$609,000-i would drive that shit myself. which brings me to my next point. at first, i was like, whatev, fedex blah blah blah. then the numbers caught my eye. at first, i thought it was like $60,900. which was huge enough. i thought oh sweet jesus, thank you for bringing me this check to pay off my student loans. cut to me as janet lee in psycho, driving off into the sunset with this huge amount of money. no! no no no no! i am a decent woman (wait who are we kidding) girl! PLUS whether or not i am decent really has nothing to with the fact that i would TOTALLY GET ARRESTED. then i see that it is actually for $609, 000. and the weeping commences.


if you need me, i'll be in the mailroom, fedexing away my student loans.

Monday, July 18, 2005

Guys...we rule so much.


Friday, July 15, 2005

afternoon delight

so i am sitting in my room watching reruns of felicity on WE (yes i do it every day and LOVE it) and all of a sudden my heart starts pounding fiercely in my ears. no wait. that's not my heart. that is HUGE BASS next door. i let it go for about 10 minutes. then i stand on my bed and press my ear against the wall, trying to see what kind of horrific music could possibly produce such offensive bass. nothing but bass. screaming " you have got to be fucking kidding me!" i storm out into the hall to go tell the fuckers what is up when lo and behold, i get into the hall and guess what it is. just guess. i dare you. nope. not even close.

it is pink.

i didn't even bother knocking. i figure if you are lame enough to play pink that loud, you need to be left alone.

Cascades (pronounced cascads) Boxboard U.S., Inc.

Is it bad that i pretty much take nothing i do at a temp job seriously and make fun of pretty much everyone i work with at said temp jobs behind their backs? ok that is a lie. i think that pavestone ruined it for me really. this job is much better and i should be taking it seriously. the people here are so nice and i actually have work to do that is somewhat ok. i am a receptionist here, which is much more bearable than at pavestone, the landscaping supply company from hell that smelled like raw sewage and was practically in the land of nascar. it is just so easy to go to the what i like to call caitlin-takes-nothing-seriously-here-land in my head when i am working at a company for maybe a week at the most and really not give a shit. In such a land, i do things like go on the internet and look at random people from high school's livejournals, go on facebook and look at all 400,000,000 groups at UC, browse through people i don't know on myspace, check my email 10 or so times, google things, do crossword puzzles, check homestarrunner, or even just change my own facebook profile. this is instead of doing work that i am paid a GIGANTIC $9.05 an hour to be doing. i could be (get ready) sorting mail, inputting lots of numbers into an excel spreadsheet for a quality assurance check sheet, (quick note: someone just referred to me as "that girl up front" in a very hick voice....grrr), ok that is really all i have to do right now but obviously i am doing this instead of that so this is an example of me being in caitlin-takes-nothing-seriously-here-land. it is also very hard for me to take this job seriously when it is (a) in hebron, ky...anything that is in hebron, ky short of the gap outlet pretty much is lame, (b) a cereal, toothpaste, and pasta box plant. yes. i am sitting at the front reception desk of a factory. which would be bad enough. except for this one makes fucking froot loop boxes. and has a huge display of princess cereal boxes right where i am sitting. i also get the privilege of hanging out right next to a colgate luminous enamel strengthening box which has yet to be folded. in a word: sweet. (c) filled with employees with ridiculous names. that i have to yell for on an intercom system pretty much 40 times every 20 minutes. there is a lady that works here named amy fischer. when i was told this...i really really promise you i almost asked if anyone ever refered to her as "long island lolita" but i didn't, i knew that i would just have to remain a silent comic in my head. it was a sad day for me. there is also a guy here named terry perry, who i pretty much have to page like every 5 minutes. which wouldn't be that bad. except for the fact that when you page someone here, you say the message twice, and then it goes off again in the factory and it is soooooooooooooo loud so you can hear yourself sounding like a huge douche. cut to me saying TERRY PERRY TERRY PERRY over and's pretty much the best ev. and then there is this guy named mamadou that keeps calling. and this guy named brad kielbasa.
ok well it seems that i really do have work that i need to do and this email just came in from my temp agency that was a reply to a message that the lady that i am under wrote that said i was doing a wonderful job (because of course i read it duh). i feel like an ass (not for reading the email, it totes had my name in the title, you would have too) but for slacking off on my job.
off to page terry perry....

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

picture post!

Ok I know this is a HUUUUUGE picture post but I would like to preface it by saying that I was just trying to figure out how to post pictures and it is actually quite easy. I don’t know why you had such a hard time nora…I actually just got all of these from my computer. Maybe I misunderstood what you were trying to do.

These first few are from when Dan Stein was in town...yay!
Nora, Dan, and a very drunken Quinn

Lovely Nancy and me, with an exploding chin


here is one from “mental diffusion” nora…you animal

“Ding-a-ling haaaaaay” (that one's for you Daniel)

p.s. Hooray for me!! I have a new apartment!!!!!!!

Sunday, July 10, 2005


i'm feeling pretty low and i am super ready to come home tomorrow. isn't that wierd? this isn't really home to me anymore. i guess because cincinnati is where i am happier and where all of my friends are. i really need to find an apartment i guess i'll get on that. oh night tomorrow?

edit: ok i wrote this post before i went to the graveyard with daniel...which totally basically i only wanted to go home because my mom was driving me insane...ok thanks bye.

Thursday, July 07, 2005

looks like i am just another ex

so i just saw my ex-boyfriend who i dated for over 3 years. i hadn't seen him since september and we broke up (over the phone--long distance) in october. this was very important to me because i called him like a month or two ago and left him a very nice message and he never called me back. when i saw him, i almost cried. it's not like i was so happy to see him, but the last time i had seen him, i was in love with him. it's so hard to take yourself out of remembering yourselves as a couple. when i hugged him, i had to remember not to give him an extra special girlfriend hug. he gives guitar lessons to my next door neighbors so when i saw his car in front of their house, i knew i needed to talk to him. i waited until he came out of their house and came out and started walking towards him. as soon as he saw me, he smiled and put down his stuff and said my name. i couldn't help but tear up. there he was. the first guy i ever loved. the first guy i ever slept with. i have so many firsts with him. i couldn't look at him for a few seconds. but then, we just started talking and things were ok. i made him laugh and it was fine. i asked him why he never returned my call and he told me that since he had someone new in his life now, she wouldn't like it very much. fuck that. i told him that it wasn't about her, it was about me and him and that i wasn't trying to break their relationship up or to dwell in the past. he told me that it was hard not to dwell in the past when you talk to someone who you dated for three years. he probably just misses me. sometimes i miss him too.

Wednesday, July 06, 2005


i'm 22
toodly doo

Friday, July 01, 2005

Pavestone, fuck yeah (part 1)

Sooooo, i just got back from my final day at pavestone. All day today, i have been composing bits and pieces of this blog in my head. It started when i woke up, with my alarm going off at 6:45. It had been ringing since 6:00 and i was pissed because while i had been sleeping through it, the noise had been making me mad while i was sleeping. So eventually i pulled myself out of my amazing bed at like 7:20, still pissed...hating pavestone. I got ready, telling myself that i needed to leave by 7:35. So at 7:47, i left my apartment, realizing that i had basically been parked in. FUCK. So i manuevered my GIGANTIC car carefully around the tiny one that had parked me in and zoomed off. I decided to change my music while i drove. which is no easy feat because of my ghetto CD player arrangement, so as soon as i managed that and pressed play, the battery informed me that it was dead by beeping loudly at me. So on my 25 minute drive to work, i had no choice but to listen to retarded morning show DJs laugh at not funny things and not hear ANY music. arg. So i got there. At 8:13. Jina (with a J) and Chuck are both sitting there and i totally pretend like i am getting there at exactly 8. And the filing begins. Earle comes in and proclaims it "Beer-thirty" at about 8:45. I don't think i have mentioned the sewer thing yet. So we have that too. There is a little room that is behind the front reception area (which is also next to the bathrooms, therefore making it behind the bathrooms as well) that holds supplies and computer things....whatever. For some reason, it smells like a sewer. Chuck, the dramatic receptionist (not gay...soooo wish he was) keeps commenting on it to customers and anyone that will listen ALLLLL morning...i can't take it. So at 11:50...i split. Lunch. Quick trip to Arby's to try the chicken salad sandwich...kind of ok...has grapes and apples and i think some kind of nuts in it...definately good for fast food...anyway so i decided that i could make it from eastgate to clifton and back in an hour. You totally can't. But i went anyway. Trying to eat a chicken salad sandwich on columbia parkway while driving...brilliant. So i'm in clifton and i have like 20 mins to get back and all i care about at this point is batteries, because while eating said chicken salad sandwich and driving on columbia parkway, i had to listen to the radio. Which would have been ok, except for i wanted to listen to radiohead. So i went to the CVS in clifton, sat in the parking lot, finished my sandwich, and then got batteries. I was left with roughly 12 minutes to get back to work. To quote myself, "YYYYEEESSSSS!!!!"

I am going to continue the rest of my amazing day later because i have to get to Nashville.'s been real...